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Do you remember this Simpson’s episode, ‘Bart’s Dog Gets an F’? The one where the family despairs because Santa’s Little Helper can’t be trained. Then you see the dog’s perspective on the situation and all he can hear is ‘Blah, blah, blah…food. Blah, blah, blah…steak.’ And so on.
That’s pretty much what life is like with a 3 year old. Both dogs and toddlers have very selective hearing and a Pavlovian response to some key words. Life is much easier for me now that I’ve realized this. Now instead of talking myself blue in the face – pleading and rationalizing with a toddler to cooperate, behave or listen – I just blurt out words like present, gummy bunnies, ice cream cone or jelly bean and he’s right at my side like an obedient little puppy; following me around until said magic word is procured. (“What did you say Mommy? Did you say jelly bean? Is that what you said?”)
It’s so much more energy efficient and pleasant for everyone. Safe too. (‘Judah, I’ll give you a jelly bean if you promise to hold my hand and not run into the street all the way to the park.’) We’re just one big happy family now. An endless display of tricks and treats. So if you see some crazy lady walking around San Francisco with a bag full of jelly beans and a 3 year old panting by her side, that’s me. Say hi!
Listen to Say Hi to Your Mom: