My 3-year old’s latest musical obsession is Karen O. from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. And frankly, I can’t blame him.
It all started with Rock Band. I play a lot of it and one of my favorite songs is Maps. I drum, he sings (with his console unplugged, of course, so we don’t get booed off). One day I decided to show him the video to Maps so he can work on his Karen O. moves. To say he’s smitten is an understatement. He watches her completely transfixed, with mouth agape. After seeing the video for Gold Lion for the first time, he turned to me, all serious, and said: “Momma, she’s magic. That’s why she has a microphone.”
My son is 3 years old and already playing the field. He has three girlfriends and speaks highly of all them – Monet, Olivia and Susannah. But Monet holds a special place in his heart. To him, she is his wife (his words, not mine). We recently chaperoned a date between the two to his favorite pizza joint, Gaspares, in the Richmond district. The entire trip to and from the restaurant, they held hands in the back seat, giggled, kicked their feet and screamed AY! AY! AY! AY! to Vampire Weekend’s A Punk.
I listened to ‘The Columbia’ by Lacktherof about 25 times today. The first time I heard it, I was immediately transported to this moment in Fiji – floating in the warm ocean during sunset. We got married there on New Year’s Eve and all of our favorite people joined us – to take over an island – for a week of frolicking and celebration. It was the best week ever and, like the song, want to replay it over and over again.
I’m certain that if Jean Paul Sartre were alive today, he would change his definition of existential hell from being trapped in a hotel room for an eternity with those you loathe to being trapped in an airplane with an unruly 3 year old, a crew of surly flight attendants and 200 other people you want absolutely nothing to do with.
Such was my life yesterday. After exhausting my arsenal of all the appropriate (yet ineffectual) ways to encourage ‘good’ behavior and ‘listening ears’ during a long day of solo travel with my son, I resorted to scare tactics. Like a good existentialist, I laid out his choices and consequences. He could be a good boy, listen to Mommy and ride on the airplane in the seat next to me. Or he could choose to be bad boy, not listen to Mommy and ride in the cargo hold with the pirates. Did it work? You betcha. Am I a bad Mother? Probably. But desperate times call for desperate measures and I was at my wits end.
After putting the hellion to bed, I soothed myself with a nice bottle of Macon Villages and some Heartless Bastards. (It’s a nice pairing, by the way.) And by the end of the evening I had completely rationalized all of my actions. Except for that resignation letter part of the day. I’ll save that for another post…when I get the courage to share.
I’m convinced children are hard wired with an innate survival instinct to charm you to tears just as your about to completely lose your mind with their relentless whining, battles of will and tests of patience. Such was the case this morning when the following conversation ensued:
Judah: “I need to go outside, Momma, in my bare feet and pick some flowers for my blankie. Roses.”
Me: “Really? OK, just make sure you don’t prick yourself on the thorns.”
Judah: “Thorns? Oh. I’ll just leave them for the bumblebees then.”
OK, heart melting. All transgressions forgotten. You’re good for the next week or so, then you better come up with something else sweet and irresistible to get me through the next rough patch. I’m sure you will, Sugar Man.
I know Beck’s ‘Gamma Ray‘ has more to do with global warming than children, but I can’t help but think of my boy Judah every time I hear that song. After all, what are gamma rays but the smallest and most energetic form of wavelength on the electromagnetic spectrum. That sounds exactly like… JUDAH! His life force never ceases to amaze (or exhaust) me. This morning on the way to preschool as Beck’s Modern Guilt was playing, he asked me: “Is this Beck, Mommy?” Awww…I just want to eat him up. Boogers and all.
Goodbye grey skies, hello sunshine! I hate July in San Francisco. But it is now officially over and so are the notorious chilly, foggy days. I woke up this morning to blue bird skies and blazing sunshine. Then I found this new track from Koushik on RCDLBL, ‘Lying in the Sun’, from his latest release – Out My Window. The perfect soundtrack for my day in every way – even the album cover.
I often fantasize that if my life were a movie it would have the best soundtrack ever. I guess I’m a bit Mary Katherine Gallagher in the sense that I think my feelings would often be best expressed by some melodramatic song. And if my life came with a built in scary movie soundtrack? Oh, the trouble I could have avoided. Like my little boy’s projectile vomit that hit me this morning. Gross.
Nothing makes you feel more helpless than trying to comfort a 3 year old through waves of nausea while screaming hysterically, “THERE’S HOT SAUCE IN MY MOUTH, MAMMA! MAKE IT GO AWAY!” And you can’t; all you can give them is words. “Don’t worry, sweetie, don’t you worry…it’ll be okay.”
After the worst had passed, I try to find something to comfort him…..”Juice? No. Crackers? No. TV? Yes. Anything else? A lollipop. Okay, a lollipop then.” And as I handed him the lollipop, this is the song I heard playing in my head…
the OCMD 
